Dear Mr. Perfect (for Me)

I know you’re somewhere out there. But I do not know for sure if I’ll ever meet you or if we can spend the rest of our life together. No matter what, you’re always in my heart and my dream. Even if I end up with the wrong guy. But if you are reading this, it means that you’re him. And if I don’t get to meet you, i will carry this letter to myself for the rest of my life to remind myself that you are whom I deserve.

Every girl has her own little fairy tale, that includes ending up with the love of her life and have the happy ending she always dreams of. Though, the question of the fact that we get to live that fairy tale or not, it all depends on fate. I won’t blame fate or anybody else for the way my life actually goes.

First of all, I’m a human being and a GIRL. If I tell you that I’m not like other girls, that I’m special, that I’m different, please listen but just don’t take it seriously. I’m just like every other girl in the whole wide world. I’m typical. I mean the opposite of what I’m saying. I want attention. I want to be loved. I want to be taken care of. I want you to be romantic. I want you to be a good lover. I want you to listen to me. I want you to tell me that I’m always beautiful to you. I want you to tell me I’m right even when I’m wrong. I want you to take the blame. I want you to love me for who I am. I don’t want you to ever cheat on me even emotionally or physically (and in my case, emotionally is more serious than physically). I don’t want you to yell at me. I want you to surprise me. I want you not to ask what I want but rather you give me what I want without me telling you. I want to sleep on your arm every night (even if I know how numb your arms would get). I want to wake up with your breath to my neck along with the song of the birds singing outside the window every morning  as long as it could go. I want you to make breakfast in bed for me even if it’s an overcooked or a rare omelet. I want you to chase after me. I want you to stand outside the door even after I just slam it in your face; but most importantly, I want you to always love me and only me and I want to have your babies.

The list of what I want can still go on. But that doesn’t matter. I know if you really exist as a human being, you won’t be able to get all the things I want done because that is just impossible. But if you really do love me, you wouldn’t think that what I want is too much to ask for and you would do all of it without frowning.

My moon, my star, please forgive me for the flaws I have and the mistakes I don’t mean to make. Please forgive me when I yell at you, when I say I hate you (even when I love you from all my heart and never in one single second hate you and I was just saying that in the moment of heat), when I hurt you, when I overreact, when my mood is swinging, when I’m jealous (just because I love you too much, but sure I will try to keep it down), when I embarrass you, when my cooking is not good, when I don’t laugh at your joke, when I talk too much, when I want you to put your remote control down to listen to me, when I talk during your game time, when I ask you why you’re so obsessed with sport and beer, when I don’t get you, when I can’t get to fullfill what you want, when I want you to watch romantic movies with me, when I don’t like the movie you pick out, when I say I want to break up (even when I don’t and still love you), when I’m too emotional, when I cry during movie, when I fall a sleep in your arm and make it numb, when I can’t sit through your favorite movie, when I have no interest in your new boy’s toy, when I don’t want you to hang out with your buddies or go to your sport events…

I know that some of what I ask for are unreasonable, but darling you’ve got to know that again I’M A GIRL.

I also know that you’d change into a whole different person someday. I just dream that you’d stay the same (the guy of my dream) for as long as possible.

I really would love to see us growing old together, having a retirement home on the bay of the beach. But at the moment I can never picture such things in my head as I have no trust in marriage. I don’t think that two people can grow old together. Baby, I hope you are the one who can change that about me. I hope you’d show me that true love exists and happy ending of the fairy tale I want can exist as long as we commit to make it happen. Even if that happy ending doesn’t last until the moment death parts us. It can happen at any point of life but just please make sure that it’s a HAPPY ENDING between us.

I’m scared as much as guys are when it comes to spending the rest of my life with someone. I’m scared of what if I changed or you changed, what if I grew old or ugly or fat and you did too, what if we were not attracted to each other anymore, what if we drove each other crazy every day, can we still love each other?

I need you to assure me that no matter what we will overcome it together, that you will always be there for me, that you always care about me.

With all the love I have in the world,

Your girl


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