I can tell you that living up to your own expectation is much easier and fulfilling than living up to others’. You only have one expectation for yourself when others have hundreds. And at the end of the day, you want to be happy, but not to please everybody.
Society should stop encouraging people to expect others to fulfil their past dream and get the value and prestige they have always want for themselves, but couldn’t. Don’t you think that it’s a little too selfish? To compromise someone’s dream and future to fulfil your past. If you want to be a doctor or a lawyer or a business man, go ahead and be one yourself. Don’t go and marry one or give birth to one and expect it will become what you want to become yourself. I really despise the funny look on the face of my teachers, my parents, or sometimes people who don’t know me at all, when I tell them I want to pursue something else that strays away from the old stupid traditional career path of doctor, lawyer, government officer… This is their expectation of me. It’s not my expectation. When I was a kid, I used to think that I would one day become a doctor. I thought that it was the expectation I had for myself when I grew up, but then I came to realisation that it was anything but an illusive thought misguided and stuck in the shadow of my parents’ expectation of me. The society’s voice keeps on getting inside my head like a spell trying to seduce me to believe that their expectation should be what I am made out to be, that it is my path. Some might say that you can’t really know anything when you were a kid. Maybe it was easy to make believe you are someone you never wish to be when you were a kid. In my case, I’m still made believe that I should be whom I am “supposed” to be until now. Of course, I can place the blames on others, but funny enough half of the blames should be put on me. The truth is I have been too blind and got sidetracked by the value this society instills in me. I have told myself that I would fight against it. But in the end, I chickened out; and worst of all, I have conformed to it.
School, college, institute may provide you education in the conformity of your society and how they want to shape you. It’s not there to provide you the knowledge you’re seeking and to shape you to be whom you really are. I believe a successful person thrives for themselves, shape up who they are, create their personality and their characteristics. None of that comes from school, from nature, from your parents. It comes from only one thing which is you, from within you. The only person who has control over your life is yourself, only you who can change yourself and make impact on yourself. You can’t change others.
Sir Ken Robinson has given a very inspiring ted talk on the topic of how school kills creativity. I don’t agree with him on every aspect, only some. I like how eloquent he is in his speech. I learn from him that a very surprising fact is that great speakers share their thoughts, not sell them. Some of us even get the wrong idea that when others talk to us, they have the ulterior motive to sell us their beliefs and we have to buy it. People never want to buy what you try to sell them. They only buy what they [think] they want. And most of us take in everything we see and hear without filtering for those who stay align with our value.
Below are a few of my favorite quotes from Sir Ken Robinson:
“The best way to work best is to believe what you do is best work. ”
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward. It’s clear to look backward. Just believe the dots will connect down the road.”
“The universities design their own system.”
“Mass quantity doesn’t add up to quality” before when you have a degree you have a job. Education is not intelligence.”